Chapter 19

Bleon approached the sofa with a slightly subdued expression as if he had noticed my apprehension. As he was about to sit next to me, I stopped him and made him sit across me on purpose. Then, with an expression of dissatisfaction from him, he frowned slightly and sat where I told him to.

I glanced at Bleon. I turned my back on the good mood that was between us just now, thinking deeply once again whether it was right to talk about this now. However, if I don’t finish this task now, it’s clear that similar things will happen again in the future, so I made up my mind.

“From now on, I’ll tell you first that it’s not because I don’t like you or because it’s not your fault.”

“…Yes?”

Perhaps because of the negative words, Bleon’s pupils shook violently. I continued talking, pretending not to see his reaction.

“I want a divorce.”

“…Divorce?”

“Hmm. I’m old and you’re still young, so I think it’s right for me to divorce you for the sake of your future.”

“…What are you saying?”

Bleon looked at me with a bewildered expression as if he heard something he completely couldn’t understand.

“I proposed to you because I felt sorry for you when you lost your parents at such a young age. Of course, it’s true that I couldn’t get married until I turned twenty-three, so I got angry when other people pointed fingers at me.”

I began to explain why I should get a divorce so that he could understand it.

“I believed that if we, who were hurt by the world, could help each other, we would be able to live well. In the end, it was completely different from how I first felt.”

Saying that, I smiled bitterly. However, Bleon’s expression had been distorted more and more harshly from before. It was the first time I saw this kind of expression on him. But I didn’t pay attention to this and continued pouring out my words.

“I am deeply sorry. I wish I was the only one who was broken, but I was so selfish and mean, I dragged Bleon into hell with me.”

If Astell had regretted and repented of her transgressions against Bleon, wouldn’t she have said this, too? I thought so and apologized to Bleon.

“I want you to know that this is the reason why I’ve been trying to have you healed recently, although I know it won’t fully compensate for the mistakes I’ve caused you over the past ten years.”

Even though it was only a week ago that he was trying to get treatment, I didn’t think it would end so quickly. Still, I felt a little uneasy since I had done all the treatment for the weak drug.

“So I think it would be better for us to go our separate ways in the future. Now that you’re an adult, Bleon, you can do everything on your own. Of course, this is the way it should be.”

As I was talking to Bleon, everything seemed to fit into place. Freeing up the adult husband after the older woman stops the abuse, admitting her wrongdoings and asking for forgiveness. It was the perfect reason for a divorce.

“I’m grateful that you followed me and liked me even though I hurt you. That’s probably because Bleon was born with a heart that is truly kind in the first place. So I’m sure you’ll find someone much better than me. You’re still young and you’re just getting started.”

‘You are young. You’re young so I can start over. So let me go.’

I kept emphasizing his age. For anyone to see, the age difference was inconsequential for a couple. Bleon will understand what I’m saying now if he’s a little older and meets a lot of people and learns a lot.

Of course, as I was older, I could start over with anything in the future. Unlike the world where I was thirty-three years old, I was a little older here, but as I was later than others, I had to stay healthy and live longer than others.

Then, in order to make my words more persuasive, I uttered words that the real Astell would never have thought of.

“And I was originally thinking of letting you go once you’ve become an adult. It’s been half a year already, but I think it’s right to end this before it’s too late.”

Looking at Bleon, I spit out all the words I had to say so far in a rather blunt manner. It even came out like a person who practiced it beforehand.

“So…”

Bleon, who had been silently listening to my words, finally opened his mouth. But his voice was trembling like he was about to cry.

“The meaning of those words is that Wife… wants to abandon me?”

Abandon you? I didn’t mean that…

I tilted my head to the side. This current situation didn’t fit at all because I didn’t mean to abandon him at all.

“It’s not—”

“I thought it was going to be like this… I knew that Wife would eventually abandon me…”

I tried to make excuses, but Bleon was already convinced that I was abandoning him.

“You said you wouldn’t abandon me… You said I didn’t do anything wrong… But why…”

The corners of Bleon’s eyes were red, and now he was about to shed tears.

“I was worried, but I was right… I was so nervous, but I thought it wasn’t because my wife wasn’t like that… I believed…”

Up until now, I kept silent, just listening to what he had to say.

‘If I had known this would happen, I should have taken a more decisive action.’

But really, I didn’t expect the treatment to end so soon, so I said and did things like that.

‘It will probably be the same even if we go back.’

Since I didn’t know how long the treatment would take, I rationalized all my actions, saying that I probably would have done the same.

“But did I know that…?”

Bleon’s expression changed in an instant. His tears welled up but he looked like a man determined to do something, while a glimpse of madness was visible.

‘Wait a minute…’

Madness? Was something wrong? As soon as I sensed that something was going the wrong way, Bleon’s words made my suspicions solidify.

“Are you going to abandon me? No. My wife can’t abandon me. Because I will never let you go, even if I die.”

And as he said that, his eyes as he looked at me were full of obsession.

“In life and death, my wife will be Bleon Einer’s wife. Forever Bleon Einer’s wife.”

As he said that, he continued to cast a ferocious, persistent gaze at me.

“So I will never divorce you, my wife.”

Bleon always used to cloud his words a bit when talking to me. So, the low-pitched voice usually sounded weak and light rather than strong and heavy, but now it wasn’t at all.

His voice seemed to be decisive as he spoke firmly, with a definite conclusion to the assertive tone. But it wasn’t just his voice that changed. Bleon’s expression was also different from before.

‘This is probably…’

It seems that I misjudged Bleon again and did the wrong thing. First of all, I tried to take advantage of the fact that Bleon listened to Astell and did not disobey her. Of course, I didn’t speak sarcastically or forcefully like Astell before, but I tried to persuade him as best as he could so he could understand.

Then, even if he couldn’t accept the situation easily, I thought that he would have no choice but to accept Astell’s words, because he would die horribly by Astell’s command if she wishes so.

But I had no idea he would come out so strong.

‘Especially those eyes…’

Now, those eyes keep piercing through my heart. It was the first time I had seen those eyes looking at me, so I was worried that he might have been corrupted.

‘Come to think of it, he also became corrupted in the original story…’

It was a very distant future, and it may not happen, but it was clear that such a seed was embedded in his heart, so it could burst by any chance.

Perhaps…

‘It must be like the current situation.’

No… I don’t think so…

Right? It shouldn’t be…

I kept trying to deny it, but Bleon’s attitude, eyes, words, and demeanor were telling me that he had changed.

‘Am I going to get a divorce now, and I’m going to have my death come sooner?’

But now he likes me, so he won’t kill me…? No. Dying wasn’t the problem. I was more afraid of the process leading to death. That was the worst. And the moment I remembered that, I felt like the same thing would happen to me. Chills ran down my spine.

“Bleon…?”

I called him carefully. When I called him, Bleon just looked at me with his eyes ablaze.

‘I don’t think he’s completely crazy yet…’

Upon closer inspection, fortunately, the eyes did not seem to have completely lost his soul. I waited quietly for Bleon, hoping he would find a reason, and then opened my mouth again, carefully choosing the words.

“So what I meant was—”

“If you say you want a divorce, I won’t listen to you at all, Wife.”

He cut me off… Bleon’s demeanor was so unfamiliar. As I looked at him with a puzzled look, observing his unrecognizable expression, Bleon got up and approached me. There was something terrifying about him, and I unknowingly shook him off and escaped back to the corner of the sofa.

“Wife… Are you scared of me…? What… what do you think I will do with you, Wife?”

Seeing me, Bleon’s face was filled with a wounded expression. And somehow, he had returned to the Bleon I knew.

“No, not that…”

“It’s true that you avoided me just now, right…?”

“No. I only instinctively—”

Having said that, I shut my mouth. It was because Bleon’s expression became even more distorted at the word instinctively.

“I will never hurt my wife…”

“I know, I know…”

I actually didn’t know. Something about the original story had already changed, so how could my mind be at ease when seemingly everything had changed? As I tried to comfort him as much as possible, Bleon suddenly fell to his knees on the floor.

Then he came near my toes, stood on his knees, buried his face in my thighs, and hugged my legs.

‘Ah, that’s what you came here for.’

This behavior was still the Bleon I knew. Fortunately, he didn’t seem to have been corrupted yet. While I was relieved for a moment, Bleon started talking to me in a very tearful voice.

“I didn’t say I hate you… And you said you don’t hate me…”

“I don’t…”

“Then can’t we just keep living like this…? I promise I’ll do better…”

“Bleon…”

“I’ll listen better, and I will never make it difficult for you, Wife. Why are you trying to abandon me? Please don’t do that. I want to be with my wife. If I don’t have my wife, I will die. I can’t breathe properly a day without you, Wife. Please, please…”

“…….”

“I will never tell you what to do in the future… It’s because I asked you to kiss me earlier, right? So my wife is mad? I won’t do that anymore… So please forgive me just once…”

Seeing him begging for forgiveness even though he had done nothing wrong made my resolve to divorce him shatter… My heart was shaking badly.

“It’s because I’m dirty… When Wife sees me, you always think that I’m a… vulgar bastard…”

Eventually, he was even swearing at himself.

“Look at this… Even in the middle of this, it’s standing again… As long as I reach my wife… I’m really helpless…”

‘What?’

Then I noticed something hard on my shin.

“…Still, please don’t throw me away even if I’m such a piece of trash… Please…”

I couldn’t open my mouth because I didn’t know what to say in response to Bleon’s begging and pleading. Why was this child so hung up on Astell like this?

“Bleon… Get up.”

I pondered for a long time what to do, and that’s the only time I opened my lips. But Bleon was still motionless.

“Bleon.”

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