Chapter 6

No matter how much I repent, my exclamations aren’t helping my situation at all…

I was feeling tremendous regret and shame when I felt his hand holding mine start to shake softly.

Huh? By the time my mind registered the confusion that I felt, he was bursting into laughter. It was a laugh that could really only be described by the word ‘bursting.’

The only kind of smile I’ve seen from Elviniraz so far have been those out of courtesy. So the fact that he’s now smiling so brightly because of me is a bit gratifying. However, it’s not enough to make me forget my embarrassment, especially after seeing him erupt into laughter so emphatically. And again, my sense of shame sank that much deeper.

“So, you thought I was hurt?”

“… yes, yes, so you didn’t call me for treatment…?”

I can’t deal with this situation much longer. Let’s heal quickly and split; pour in the divine power or whatever and run back to the barracks. I want to bury myself under a blanket.

“I’m not hurt, Priestess. I think you were mistaken due to the blood on my cloak, but it was only from supporting the soldier.”

….Oh, my face is going to explode.

Up until now, I’ve built up an image of myself as a calm, ordinary priestess with a powerful healing ability. But in just one moment, that image has been shattered.

As soon as I entered the barracks, I suddenly made a confession like a depraved sinner in my own splendid show of self-destruction.

I could feel the redness in my face without having to look at it.

Meanwhile, Elviniraz, who still couldn’t fully suppress his laughter, continued to cough heavily, eventually covering his face with his big hand and exhaling for a long time. I’d be okay with being buried six feet under at this point. Anything to avoid listening to him struggle to contain his laugher.

Even so, it was still nice to see a person who was so tall and charismatic, giving off the impression of a Nordic god, smiling in front of me.

For nearly ten days, I’d only ever witnessed a rather stiff countenance from him, as the commander of the war. He wasn’t happy at all.

As I was looking down on the ground with a face taking on all the negative emotions in the world, I heard Elviniraz’s voice.

“I called, Priestess, I called to apologize. I heard news that Abnel’s priests were harassing Priestess Renesha.”

“… Oh? No, but why is the commander…”

“Because it’s something people who belong to my temple have done, and it wouldn’t have happened if I had been more careful.”

Well no, those people are just weird. It’s not like he was intentionally ignoring the situation as a bystander since he wasn’t aware. How would he have known anyway…

He continued seriously, as I kept saying no with a shaky expression.

“I will talk to the priests separately. So please accept my apology.”

“Well, no… Sir Knight. It’s not that I don’t want to accept your apology, but I’m saying that your apology is unnecessary. I have no intention of forcing responsibility on you, and above all else, you’ve done nothing wrong, so why are you lowering yourself? I don’t understand why you’re asking for an apology when it’s not your fault.”

Besides, the priests and the paladins are not the same. Of course there was no reason to be held accountable for having the same god.

Even though I was explaining myself, I ended up rambling.

While I was going on and on, Elviniraz was looking down at me quietly, and even after my talk was over, he was silent for a while.

The gaze staring at me was a bit cumbersome. It became so intense that for a moment I even considered that he may be performing telepathy. Is it possible for him read my inner thoughts and judge my level of sincerity?

“….Yes, the priestess is right.”

But at the end of all that, Elviniraz just smiled with his eyes closed. It took a few seconds to hear his answer, but it seems like my words had a positive effect.

“I was worried that the priestess might be offended and dislike Abnel because of it.”

“…Oh, no. I see.”

He was worried for such a strange reason, so I looked at him with questioning eyes. But with my quite meaningless exclamation, I must have pressed his laughter button again.

Yet again I’m the cause. Hoo*, damn it. I want to disappear again.

[tl/n*: I know ‘whew’ makes more sense in English, but it has a connotation of relief which she definitely does not feel here lol, so I decided to be more literal.]

My hand that was so ashamed, was caught again. His hand that had previously enveloped mine when he was bursting with laughter, wrapped around my hand carefully again. It was a very big hand; so much so that his palm alone almost covered the length of my entire hand.

As I was a little embarrassed yet again and looking down at the ground, Elviniraz looked at me once and slowly raised his hand.

“Actually, it takes tremendous devotion and sincerity to heal someone with divine power. If you have the smallest feeling of reluctance towards the other, you’d be able to use only half of your abilities…”

He kissed the back of my hand in a very polite manner.

“Therefore we must not turn our backs on God’s Envoy.”

After a light kiss, Elviniraz’s golden eyes immediately met mine. This situation was so embarrassing, I couldn’t stop my formerly cool cheeks from heating up again.

He smiled gently.

“Next time I’m injured, I’ll call for you, priestess. Then you can see me up close.”

…..the heat drained from my cheeks.

I really won’t be able to sleep tonight.

* * * * * * *

As predicted, I’m wide awake.

It’s been a while since the other priests in the barracks fell asleep, but I’ve been awake for several hours now. With no light I can’t be sure of the time, but it must be around one or two in the morning.

With those shameful memories it was impossible to fall asleep, but more than that, my worries about tomorrow’s schedule and the future also won’t let me relax.

Today, technically yesterday now, two soldiers were wounded, but now the reconnaissance is over.

The mountain itself is very steep and has many places where Vios can ambush us, so lately stakeouts are taking even longer to be completed in order for us to move on to the next mountain.

After crossing the third mountain, there will be a place to rest on the plain below, so we were told that we would be able to rest a day there before continuing onto the next mountain.

Of course the mountain will be rough as well, but the priests were all set at ease when told that the soldiers were already familiar with the road, even though it would take longer to cross.

Even so, I was completely restless. Vios, who everyone thought would be conquered easily, was still putting up a fight.

I heard that the western border was called a fortress because of the very existence of these rugged mountain ranges, so there’s not only a man-made fortress, but also a natural one made with special topography.

So they say that it will be easy to reach the territory of Vios once we pass this area….

I’ve been seeing soldiers bleeding before me for six days straight now. Luckily none of them have been critical yet, but seeing the soldiers limping and losing blood is not comforting at all.

In fact, if it were’t for the healers, the number of casualties would be much higher, yet the road is still getting more difficult.

In addition, healers are having to use their powers every day, and it’s evident that their energy is draining more quickly than before. If the first day they were charged at 100%, now, no matter how much they sleep, they are only topped at 60% or 70%.

I suppose going back alive is still likely…

But I still feel like protesting to those who had reassured me.

When I go back to the temple, I want to shout and demand that Priest Timotheo bring me hot ice. I knew a ‘safe war’ was rubbish. Maybe he was using a paradox to deliver a strong message to the perception of war as a joke.

Phew A sigh escaped from me. Since I hadn’t used divine power or been otherwise occupied today, it was impossible for me to sleep. I tossed and turned for about ten minutes more, but got up at the end. I should take a walk for some fresh air.

I carefully put on my shoes and went outside the barracks. As soon as I walked through the tent, the entrance let a cold breeze of the night leak through, so I quickly closed the tent. I even checked carefully to see if the wind would slip through or if it was closed properly.

“Ha….”

The air became colder as dawn greeted the mountains. Because the surrounding area was full of trees and grass, it gave off a unique, damp fragrance.

Can you possibly see the dew at night?…

I looked up at the sky thinking blankly, until my coat was blown open again by the cold breeze, waking me up.

Outside the barracks, fire was blazing at regular intervals. There were two soldiers who seemed to be standing guard, but they must have been very tired, since they were standing there and dozing off little by little.

I felt self-conscious about waking them up, so I looked at them regretfully and walked very carefully around. I should just walk around the base camp for a bit and then go back.

One step, two steps, three steps.  When I was just about to take four steps, I heard a cold voice from behind me.

“What are you doing out here at dawn?”

His voice was so cold that I had to wonder if the chill of dawn somehow infused itself inside him.

Even though we don’t talk much, I knew who it was as soon as I heard his voice, and my shoulders trembled.

“Oh, hello.”

So I turned around and wore an ambiguous smile.  The moon shone so brightly that my view was completely clear. Only the violet eyes looking down at me seemed endlessly dark.

It was obviously due to the devastation around his eyes, yet I couldn’t help being a little frightened meeting such a desolate person at dawn.

“I asked what you were doing.”

I became even more afraid by the suspicion in his eyes. It did appear very strange that I would come out of the barracks secretly at this hour of the night when we are fighting a war against Vios.

“I couldn’t sleep, so I came out to take a short walk.”

I expressed my intentions very politely. I was very surprised by his sudden appearance, but Duke Willard’s current suspicion was valid, so I responded with courtesy without revealing any embarrassment.

However, despite my explanation, the Duke looked down at me with his face tilted slightly back, as if he didn’t believe me. The eyes that I looked into were really damn scary.

“The priests usually go to bed early because they are tired.”

“Oh, there were only a few minor injuries today so I didn’t do any treatments.”

“….and you, you usually seem to have a hard time hiking. Are you feeling that much better after a few days’ rest?”

The Duke refuted my words again, frowning slightly as he spoke. Even that small scowl was enough to frighten me, making my heart drop with a heavy thump. But I was very surprised by the words that followed, so I didn’t know know what to say…only a stupid sound came out.*

[tl/n*: I’m assuming she means she made a small sigh or weird noise in response. There was no further explanation so idk.]

How did the Duke know that? Ah, no. It was understandable. I’m the last person to walk up the mountain, the one who struggles the most.

When I clung to Lily because I was afraid of falling behind, she always laughed and waited for me.

Well, so it’s easy enough to know…. realizing this, I became a little embarrassed and laughed awkwardly.  But the Duke didn’t laugh at all, so I quickly closed my mouth.

The silence became long. The air resounded with the chirping of grasshoppers and the swaying of grass. The sound of the wind breaking between the trees was a bit bizarre, but also strangely stabilizing, and I eventually opened my mouth.

“Actually, it’s the first time I’ve been to war.”

“…….”

“Oh, of course, you said before it’s not a real “war,” but…people getting hurt before my own eyes is still upsetting.”

I’ve only ever experienced death myself, I’ve never actually witnessed it…